I feel that way quite often. I wish I could come to the end of the path of life but it just will not happen soon.
The pandemic happened and I know that many of you can relate to just wanting it to be over! (I would really to get off!)
As well, I am in two academic programs where graduation feels miles and miles away.
First, I am completing a Masters of Education in Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages with Framingham University. I have three more courses left, so I know I am going to get off of this path soon, but it has not happened yet.
Second, I am taking courses to become a minister with the Church of the Nazarene. I enjoy these courses way more than the ones for Framingham University. I have five six week courses left. This program has been going on for about five years because I could arrange the schedule to take these courses during the breaks that I have from my current position teaching English at Korea University. Again, I am on a path that I enjoy, but I really want to get off and feel like a regular person again!
The path of child-rearing is another path of life where I feel like I am right in the middle. Justin, my eldest son, is in his last year of high school and I know I will be ecstatic when he gets into university. Aidan and Jordan are in elementary school, grade six and grade four. It is going to take a while for this path to complete itself.
Have you ever had that feeling? You want to get off the path you are on because it hard and its winding. You know that you are going to be a better person when you finish, but you still just want to quit.
That is me today.
It does not help that I am right before midterms with my teaching job. There are another twelve weeks ahead of me.
I am definitely on a long and winding path that is completely unique. And then I remembered this poem that I completely fell in love with way, way back in high school.
The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Robert Frost
I am remembering decisions that have been made over the years. The decision to marry and move to South Korea. I am remembering the decision not to do mission work in Nepal. I am remembering digging my heels into Korean culture and learning how to teach students.
I am also remembering the isolation I felt being a foreigner overseas. But, it has been good. I do enjoy this life that was created from scratch and all the curves on the road that were the result of decisions made.
I am on the path of life. It has been beautiful and hard. It has been lovely and devastating. It has been one where I have taken the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference. I am sure I will come to the end of the road some day.